i do find it a bit weird ranting on tumblr because now there are people that i actually know whom have taken the time to follow me. not that i’m sure many stop to read when i do occasionally rant like this. but nonetheless, it’s still a strange feeling. i’ve been handed way too much time to think & i guess i just need a way of getting it out.
i just read perks of being a wallflower. & i’m unsure if any of what i’m about to say (or rather attempt to say) is related but we will see.
i think one of my
(many) problems is that i refuse to ‘participate’ in life. which is a perks reference but i think it’s pretty self explanatory.
i feel, but more often then not i just watch.
i want my life to start, but i’m unsure how i’m supposed to make that happen.
i’m not unhappy i don’t think. life is truly beautiful.
i have a family who doesn’t really have much at all, but they care.
i have friends who love me.
a boyfriend, though it hasn’t been long at all, who i just feel really good about.
& what people tell me will be a promising future.
i just cry a lot because things aren’t happening fast enough.
graduation was a year ago & it’s so funny thinking about how happy i was to be starting anew. i was headed to the university of miami, & i was going to have the time of my life. & everything was going to be perfect.
it’s also funny looking at how nothing went as planned.
emotionally, this past year has been a lot for me. & i’m still trying to put everything back together.
life really stops for no one. i’m trying to make the best of what i’ve got. try & figure out if staying here is in my best interests. & hope that the part where things start falling into place takes place soon.
i’ve been so harshly slapped back into reality, i’m doing what i can to adjust.